I remember well my confusion and then excitement at the arrival of Festival Launchers. I had just undocked at Jita 4/4 when a neutral pilot locked me up. Concerned, but not terribly so, I looked to see who had me locked. I assumed I was being scanned but since I had crap-all in my cargo holds, I was not too worried. Then something was fired from the hostile vessel and headed towards me. WARP OUT, WARP OUT, I screamed to myself as I stress-tested my mouse button. I could tell I was not going to get out in time. I knew I should have listened and trained my navigation skills. So long, newly purchased battlecruiser; hello pod, I thought.
Then the space around my ship was alight with crackling, sparkling fireworks. Several seconds passed before I realized what had happened so I quickly warped back to see what was going on and confirm my burgeoning joy. Jita 4/4 was a pyrotechnic madhouse of fireworks and snowballs. It was an amazing sight to behold! I quickly docked up, grabbed my new launcher and joined in the party. Good times.
A couple of years have passed since the arrival of the Festival Launchers and in true Eve style, what used to bring you pleasure is now a source of minor irritation. I still love the Festival Launcher’s limitation that they may only be mounted on ships with missile launcher hard points. This seems a tad unfair to me towards the Gallente who do not have a dedicated missile boat, though. Let’s be fair; if any race would be excited at the prospect of beautiful displays in space it’s going to be the Gallente. I would like to call upon CCP to remove the launcher hard point requirement for fitting Festival Launchers. Festival Launchers should be able to mount into any high-powered slot.
What I would really like to see is the introduction of a brand-new module which I would call a Festival Cannon. The Festival Cannon would be a short range device with two separate charge types. The first charge type would be known as a Tinsel Charge and it would fire out a small round which upon striking the targeted vessel would envelop said vessel in Christmas-tree-like tinsel. The tinsel could come in a variety of colors much like the current fireworks charges. The second charge type would be known as a Glitter Charge and it would create a small cloud of glitter centered around the firing vessel.
I realize that the time which would be required to create the Festival Cannon could much better be spent on other aspects of the game and I don’t expect to see it anytime soon, if at all. I just remember how much fun it was with the Festival launchers were first introduced and it never hurts to have a new toy.
Your drinking buddy,
Rupert Foulmouth
