The following piece was originally at the GSF internal Forums
Remember when some pubbie sent Mittens an EVEmail about an unknown proposal. The one Mittens forwarded to the entire alliance to laugh at, which lead to many of you trying making fun of this well meaning sender?
Fw: A moment of your time.
From: The Mittani
Sent: 2014.02.06 06:26
To: Goonswarm Federation,
A moment of your time.
Sent: 2014.02.06 04:13
To: The Mittani
I would like to ask you a question on the topic of Goons owning eve.
I have a proposition for you if your interested.
Please convo me or send me a mail.
Thank you for your time.
Well it turns out this fine lad wanted the CFC’s support for fighting PL. They were sad that PL raised their rent three times and after a disagreement Grath pleasantly told them to get the fuck out. After about 10 minutes of taking them seriously the red carpet was rolled out for me, an undercover middle man working on behalf of a shadow cartel of interested persons ready to take a stab at PL. While many thought this was a bad joke, some believed an opportunity existed. So I Scooter McCabe, 3rd year medical student from Johns Hopkins, was asked nicely to check up on them. I explained in order to verify their claims there would be several stipulations. First I had to audit them and be given roles in the executor corp. Second I would need them to gather their carriers in one station as a certain jumping off point. But what came next shocked me. They were prepared to surrender all SOV to the CFC as a sign of goodwill and contribution to the war effort.
Nothing Wrong If Your The Only Interested Party Involved
Channel ID: -56932320
Channel Name: Private Chat (alone)
Listener: Scooter McCabe
Session started: 2014.02.06 15:23:27
[ 2014.02.06 15:23:29 ] Losgarr > o/
[ 2014.02.06 15:23:51 ] Losgarr > Can I help you?
[ 2014.02.06 15:24:31 ] Scooter McCabe > Hi how are you?
[ 2014.02.06 15:24:40 ] Losgarr > Good, yourself?
[ 2014.02.06 15:25:06 ] Scooter McCabe > I’m good, I’m making some inquiries about a certain mail by certain interested parties.
[ 2014.02.06 15:25:27 ] Losgarr > I know of the mail.
[ 2014.02.06 15:25:34 ] Losgarr > Im just going to be strait foward
[ 2014.02.06 15:25:48 ] Scooter McCabe > Please do it would make my job easier.
[ 2014.02.06 15:26:00 ] Losgarr > I have nothing to hide and nothing to lose, just cutting all the tip toeing around out.
[ 2014.02.06 15:26:31 ] Losgarr > PL are Assholes and was wondering if Goons want to take advantage of an offer I have
[ 2014.02.06 15:27:28 ] Scooter McCabe > Go on.
[ 2014.02.06 15:27:36 ] Losgarr > Im no master spy or any of that shit. ~~
[ 2014.02.06 15:27:57 ] Losgarr > PL are kicking out all sov holding renters of oasa and cobalt
[ 2014.02.06 15:28:20 ] Losgarr > our rent went up 3x and its complete bullshit-
[ 2014.02.06 15:29:00 ] Losgarr > Our systems arnt under Botland argeement and We are going to try to hold our systems aslong as we can and maybe get some kills
[ 2014.02.06 15:29:25 ] Scooter McCabe > So where exactly would we come in.
[ 2014.02.06 15:29:26 ] Losgarr > we arnt a big corp/alliance so If pl want to take systems by force they will used unsupported caps to do it.
[ 2014.02.06 15:30:21 ] Scooter McCabe > Right and you want someone to counter drop them and fight alongside you.
[ 2014.02.06 15:30:44 ] Losgarr > Easy Kills and its 10 systems in the middle of oasa. We will fight either way. If you want easy cap kills, and or have an easy foot hold in the middle of their renters.
[ 2014.02.06 15:30:54 ] Losgarr > we will transfer sov if you want it
[ 2014.02.06 15:31:11 ] Scooter McCabe > So I have to ask what position do you hold to make all these promises.
[ 2014.02.06 15:32:12 ] Losgarr > PL want 30b by the end of the month, we will not pay this anyway.
[ 2014.02.06 15:32:26 ] Losgarr > So if they want their systems they will have to take them
[ 2014.02.06 15:33:00 ] Losgarr > Im the PVP Director for the alliance and we had a leadership meeting and decussed this already between us
[ 2014.02.06 15:33:30 ] Scooter McCabe > Okay, so you enter alliance is behind this course of action.
[ 2014.02.06 15:33:42 ] Losgarr > We are yes
[ 2014.02.06 15:33:59 ] Scooter McCabe > How far are you prepared to go.
[ 2014.02.06 15:35:22 ] Losgarr > We are fed up with PL’s shit. They broke all agreements we had under EMP, trippled our rent and forcing us to give up sov. This space is lost to us either way. We want to burn the fields
[ 2014.02.06 15:35:52 ] Losgarr > I can give you as much as we can give.
[ 2014.02.06 15:36:36 ] Scooter McCabe > Well I have to take an account of your entire alliance. Make sure there are as many as you say there are ready to fight.
[ 2014.02.06 15:36:44 ] Scooter McCabe > Not just a few passionate partisans.
[ 2014.02.06 15:38:04 ] Losgarr > We are not big. I can put together 20 domis and we have some caps mostly carriers. We cant handle this on our own. Not for long anyways. We are trying to grind will the end of the month~ March 1st~
[ 2014.02.06 15:39:01 ] Scooter McCabe > Well if we came and helped you, you probably wouldn’t lose your space. We currently have cap dominance. But our aid would certainly come with a number of stipulations.
[ 2014.02.06 15:40:20 ] Scooter McCabe > 1. We will assess your alliance before any aid is given. I will personally audit your entire alliance. 2. You would not act independently of us in military operations.3. You will have an acting advisor within your alliance directorate to keep
[ 2014.02.06 15:40:30 ] Scooter McCabe > to keep us abreast of whats going on inside the alliance.
[ 2014.02.06 15:40:55 ] Losgarr > Stipulations can come in time. If your interested just say so. We can go from there in more formal disscusions.
[ 2014.02.06 15:41:29 ] Scooter McCabe > Well the concern is you are just some water carrier for a PL political power play.
[ 2014.02.06 15:41:49 ] Scooter McCabe > With the sole goal of dissolving BOTLRD.
[ 2014.02.06 15:41:59 ] Scooter McCabe > Hence why you are dealing with me first.
[ 2014.02.06 15:42:15 ] Scooter McCabe > And why these stipulations are non negotiable and immediate.
[ 2014.02.06 15:43:02 ] Losgarr > I just ment, I dont like being formal in an eve convo. I can type shure but TS could be more usefull
[ 2014.02.06 15:43:55 ] Losgarr > I can give you evry detail you want much quicker
[ 2014.02.06 15:44:11 ] Scooter McCabe > I am more than happy to speak with you on TS, after you have met the stipulations.
[ 2014.02.06 15:44:26 ] Scooter McCabe > Because my gut tells me you are on an errand for PL.
[ 2014.02.06 15:45:15 ] Scooter McCabe > And my researchers tell me you are in fact covered under BOTLRD.
[ 2014.02.06 15:45:29 ] Scooter McCabe > So its honesty time.
[ 2014.02.06 15:45:33 ] Scooter McCabe > Once chance at this.
[ 2014.02.06 15:45:39 ] Scooter McCabe > One*
[ 2014.02.06 15:45:39 ] Losgarr > I will tell you Im not. But my word is not much to you. I will meet your stipulations
[ 2014.02.06 15:45:56 ] Losgarr > Sorry~ I cant time fast and it makes me look im being quiet
[ 2014.02.06 15:46:27 ] Losgarr > I myself have no contacts within PL
[ 2014.02.06 15:46:28 ] Scooter McCabe > Very well.
[ 2014.02.06 15:46:43 ] Losgarr > type fast*
[ 2014.02.06 15:46:48 ] Scooter McCabe > Its fine.
[ 2014.02.06 15:47:02 ] Scooter McCabe > I have years of practice writing medical journal entries.
[ 2014.02.06 15:47:15 ] Scooter McCabe > So I myself may be a little fast.
[ 2014.02.06 15:47:25 ] Losgarr > Im just starting my first year in buisness school. >.< [ 2014.02.06 15:48:02 ] Scooter McCabe > You have my sympathy, but the women getting MBAs were far better looking than my Med school program.
[ 2014.02.06 15:48:41 ] Losgarr > Lol, but med school im shure pays more
[ 2014.02.06 15:48:53 ] Scooter McCabe > After about 10 years yes.
[ 2014.02.06 15:49:04 ] Scooter McCabe > The loans are insane.
[ 2014.02.06 15:49:20 ] Losgarr > I could believe.
[ 2014.02.06 15:49:32 ] Scooter McCabe > And I still drive my 93 Mitisubshi VR4 3000GT
[ 2014.02.06 15:49:43 ] Scooter McCabe > not that i would give up my twin turbo
[ 2014.02.06 15:49:57 ] Scooter McCabe > just saying not all docs drive mercs
[ 2014.02.06 15:50:04 ] Scooter McCabe > but i digress
[ 2014.02.06 15:50:19 ] Scooter McCabe > so now on to the stipulations
[ 2014.02.06 15:50:32 ] Losgarr > Ready when you are.
[ 2014.02.06 15:51:03 ] Scooter McCabe > i would like to place an alt in your spesifc corp, set him up with director roles do my audit and schedule a meeting tonight when the rest of your leadership is on
[ 2014.02.06 15:52:01 ] Losgarr > Im shure that would be ok, Once we move all non-combat assets out and expence stuffs.
[ 2014.02.06 15:52:30 ] Scooter McCabe > im sure you can move things on your own
[ 2014.02.06 15:52:44 ] Losgarr > Witch we are doing as we speak
[ 2014.02.06 15:52:49 ] Scooter McCabe > good
[ 2014.02.06 15:53:06 ] Scooter McCabe > i will contact you with an alt shortly to apply and you can bring him in
How could I say no. Well actually I had to tread carefully at this point because of the parties involved. Namely not violating BOTLRD, causing World War III with PL, and having to answer a lot of questions from an enraged directorate. So I appraised two people of the situation, obviously Mittens and my CEO Roland Hova. Roland thought I was in the clear but said get the okay from Mittens to do this. The green light came and I had permission to torch away an entire alliance and damn them to obscurity and most likely Hi Sec.
So we were all set to transfer SOV and give me control of the executor corp at 10pm EST. That’s when tragedy struck, the shadow of Black OPs fell upon one their panic evacing jump freighters. So I had to spend then next 30 minutes on voice comms getting the marks to chill the fuck out. Which they did after promises of prompt compensation that were to never come. So I received control over 10 systems stations and all. Sadly the CEO had just paid rent so I was going to have to get my 30 billion I had projected from this scam another way.
So during this time PL was informed of what I was doing. And they were rather pleased we had no intention of keeping the SOV. So they wanted me to unanchor all the IHUBs and TCUs and for my trouble I’d pick up 4 billion. How could I say no?
So I had a little trouble finding the IHUBs until the mark politely gave me a list so I could start putting in CFC IHUBs. After a lifetime of flying around in a Velator and unanchoring all the things my bloody task was done. So now the time came to announce the charade was over. First I renamed J-D and W5- to some family friendly names. Then I announced over comms to the alliance CEO I had locked up all his stations and none of his members could get out, or get their caps out. I proposed a modest 30 billion ransom since he just paid SOV bills for me. The response included his claim that he needed to take his BP meds and lie down, and kicking me off TS with only the best message ever. Namely because I raised his hopes about some massive insurrection in PL, a SOV bill and a 30 billion ransom demand.
You were kicked from the server by “Brante Sletkia” (thanks for killing my eve)
The End Game Conversation
Channel ID: -56958646
Channel Name: Group Chat (Losgarr, Brante Sletkia)
Listener: CareBear Killer Jones
Session started: 2014.02.07 06:41:44
[ 2014.02.07 06:42:41 ] CareBear Killer Jones > brante i just got told to tell you not to forget the ihubs
[ 2014.02.07 06:46:36 ] Brante Sletkia > ihubs automatically are under you after tcu transfer
[ 2014.02.07 06:50:08 ] CareBear Killer Jones > so you want do this after 1 eve time tomorrow for the kick off
[ 2014.02.07 06:50:37 ] Brante Sletkia > sounds good
[ 2014.02.07 06:50:45 ] Brante Sletkia > 0100 tomorrow night
[ 2014.02.07 06:50:56 ] Brante Sletkia > errr…0200 i will be home and ready
[ 2014.02.07 06:51:03 ] Brante Sletkia > i get off work at 0100
[ 2014.02.07 07:04:37 ] CareBear Killer Jones > cool
[ 2014.02.07 07:04:43 ] CareBear Killer Jones > i have a late seminar anyways
[ 2014.02.07 07:08:50 ] Brante Sletkia > cool cool
[ 2014.02.07 07:10:36 ] Brante Sletkia > afk bio time
[ 2014.02.07 07:14:10 ] Brante Sletkia > back
[ 2014.02.07 07:14:25 ] CareBear Killer Jones > cool
[ 2014.02.07 07:15:02 ] CareBear Killer Jones > tomorrow PL will suddenly see CFC Sov in these systems and grath will shit a brick
[ 2014.02.07 07:16:48 ] Brante Sletkia > LMFAO
[ 2014.02.07 07:16:54 ] Brante Sletkia > id love to see the look on his face
[ 2014.02.07 07:17:55 ] CareBear Killer Jones > well im going to get some people to start moving ihubs in
[ 2014.02.07 07:18:07 ] Brante Sletkia > kk
[ 2014.02.07 07:18:23 ] CareBear Killer Jones > do you have a list of where the current ihubs are
[ 2014.02.07 07:18:28 ] Brante Sletkia > i do
[ 2014.02.07 07:18:36 ] CareBear Killer Jones > could you send them to me
[ 2014.02.07 07:19:11 ] bandit773 > 5JEZ-I 1J-D5U7 10JXQJ-B 2H-MHWF 11PND-SI 7SON-TW 1V-X0KM 1W5-VBR 1XXZ-3W 2Y-770C 1.
[ 2014.02.07 07:19:44 ] CareBear Killer Jones > k ill get that off to the “welcoming comittee”
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:19 ] Brante Sletkia > if starfire eden leaves alliance now…
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:28 ] Brante Sletkia > and joins them is that the soonest it can change over
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:34 ] Brante Sletkia > or can they do it sooner?
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:41 ] CareBear Killer Jones > sooner if we swap hubs
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:46 ] Brante Sletkia > ahhh
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:47 ] Brante Sletkia > nice
[ 2014.02.07 07:20:59 ] Brante Sletkia > unanchor pick up reanchor
[ 2014.02.07 07:21:08 ] CareBear Killer Jones > pretty much
[ 2014.02.07 07:22:23 ] Brante Sletkia > that bot exec is trying to convo rebekah
[ 2014.02.07 07:23:00 ] CareBear Killer Jones > um just logg off
[ 2014.02.07 07:23:07 ] CareBear Killer Jones > go dark
[ 2014.02.07 07:23:11 ] CareBear Killer Jones > like its bed time
[ 2014.02.07 07:23:26 ] Brante Sletkia > yep
[ 2014.02.07 07:23:55 ] CareBear Killer Jones > if they know its brantes alt i would probably go 100% dark
[ 2014.02.07 07:24:32 ] Brante Sletkia > not too many people know all my alts…
[ 2014.02.07 07:24:33 ] Brante Sletkia > lol
[ 2014.02.07 07:24:55 ] Brante Sletkia > i have 17 accounts in corp alone…
[ 2014.02.07 07:25:03 ] CareBear Killer Jones > okay
[ 2014.02.07 07:25:04 ] CareBear Killer Jones > wow
[ 2014.02.07 07:25:39 ] Brante Sletkia > only 2 i have outside of corp are brand new accounts last month still doing their training arcs in high sec
[ 2014.02.07 07:25:41 ] Brante Sletkia > lol
[ 2014.02.07 07:37:34 ] CareBear Killer Jones > ha
[ 2014.02.07 07:37:35 ] CareBear Killer Jones > nice
[ 2014.02.07 07:39:21 ] Brante Sletkia > uh something funny happen?
[ 2014.02.07 07:39:27 ] Brante Sletkia > lol
[ 2014.02.07 07:40:04 ] CareBear Killer Jones > apparently im not the only person talking to unhappy renters ready to strike back tonight
[ 2014.02.07 07:40:22 ] CareBear Killer Jones > so tomorrow there is going to be a full on revolt apparently
[ 2014.02.07 07:43:50 ] Brante Sletkia > lol
[ 2014.02.07 07:43:51 ] Brante Sletkia > nice
[ 2014.02.07 08:09:49 ] CareBear Killer Jones > hey you awake
[ 2014.02.07 08:09:58 ] CareBear Killer Jones > xxz is not under our control
[ 2014.02.07 09:51:35 ] CareBear Killer Jones > brante
[ 2014.02.07 09:51:45 ] Brante Sletkia > yeah
[ 2014.02.07 09:51:53 ] CareBear Killer Jones > contract time
[ 2014.02.07 09:52:20 ] Brante Sletkia > i need to go to bed my blood pressure is through the roog
[ 2014.02.07 09:52:32 ] Brante Sletkia > can we please do the contract tomorrow so i can speak to my members personally
[ 2014.02.07 09:52:46 ] CareBear Killer Jones > okay then im going to close up the station and your peeps will die outside and the invasion starts now
[ 2014.02.07 09:53:18 ] Brante Sletkia > can we please do the contract tomorrow
[ 2014.02.07 09:53:23 ] CareBear Killer Jones > no
[ 2014.02.07 09:53:28 ] Brante Sletkia > and i will give it to you?
[ 2014.02.07 09:53:41 ] CareBear Killer Jones > you contract this stuff now
[ 2014.02.07 09:53:43 ] Brante Sletkia > this is my final eve hurrah
[ 2014.02.07 09:53:49 ] Brante Sletkia > so i will give you all my stuff tomorrow
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:00 ] CareBear Killer Jones > Nope
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:01 ] Brante Sletkia > i just need to go to bed
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:01 ] CareBear Killer Jones > Now
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:11 ] CareBear Killer Jones > im closing off access to everyone
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:21 ] CareBear Killer Jones > and i have issued new shares that give me control of the corp
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:49 ] CareBear Killer Jones > and last but not least i will simply transfer the station to PL in about 7 hours
[ 2014.02.07 09:54:55 ] CareBear Killer Jones > so my bases are covered, how are yours
[ 2014.02.07 09:56:26 ] Brante Sletkia > ill be happy to contract you everything
[ 2014.02.07 09:56:36 ] Brante Sletkia > i need to take some medicine get this bp under control and lay down
[ 2014.02.07 09:56:37 ] CareBear Killer Jones > then do it now
[ 2014.02.07 09:56:40 ] Brante Sletkia > tomorrow
[ 2014.02.07 09:56:55 ] CareBear Killer Jones > Thats its your people are dead and your not getting shit out of this station
[ 2014.02.07 09:57:08 ] Brante Sletkia > ok
[ 2014.02.07 09:57:10 ] Brante Sletkia > thanks
As of right now he has not paid, and has to explain to his entire corp why the majority of their carriers, rorqs, jfs, combat ships, mining ships and whatever else they kept in three stations is forever locked away. He will probably quit EVE leaving an entire alliance rudderless. Last we spoke he feels he has no choice but to have his people come and rent space from us….
And that is what I did for my winter vacation. Special thanks to Roland Hova, The Mittani, TheAdj for his SOV knowlege, and Grath for being Grath.