100 Proof Pod JuiceMany of EVE’s greatest moments are the result of incredible minds planning and executing complex plans. Amazing fleet doctrines and flawless logistical networks orchestrated in symphonic perfection, raining death upon the unfortunate. These moments are the stuff of legend and pilots and non-pilots alike avidly read every detail. My fellow writers here at EN 24 bring you these tales of galactic conflict with professionalism and panache’.

Other members of this fraternity of the pen (ok, keyboard), offer in depth evaluations of the complex mechanics and mathematics which are at the heart of EVE. Charts, graphs, and equations peel back the pixelated veil and help each of us better prepare ourselves for whatever form of conflict we engage in, be it by auto-cannon, mining laser, or market order.

EVE is one of the gaming world’s most cerebral games and the members of the EVE Online media are in my humble opinion some of the sharpest tools in the shed; and then there’s me. I have a post-it note on my screen to remind me how the mouse works. EVE for me, means a fifth of Jim Beam and a jar of sweet pickles. Some of my best moments in EVE are buried in my mind under a pile of vanquished brain cells. I want to high light the other side of EVE, my side, the dark seething underbelly of the galaxy. I want your stories of glorious shame. The crazy tales of plan’s that “Seemed like a good idea” at the time.

I’ll start the ball rolling with my own high/low point. A few buddies and I were running a gate camp in WD-VTV. We had a handful of frigates and a couple cruiser hovering around some anchored warp disruption bubbles looking for easy kills and waiting for the inevitable fleet to send us running and screaming. By this point in the evening I was pretty well hammered and the combination of too much bourbon and a prostate the size of a moon, had me squirming in my seat. It was rapidly becoming a question of where I was going to piss rather than when. My besotted brain search for a solution. I knew the moment I stepped away from the key board an invading hoard hostiles would fall upon us and I did not want to let my comrades down. Then inspiration struck like a 1400 arty. Earlier in the day I had consumed a delicious bottle of Gatorade to wash down a bucket of fried chicken. Where my wife would see trash, I saw a convenient portable urinal. Standing up, I prepared to empty my bladder. The heavens opened up and angels sang as I transferred by the Gatorade I had warmed to a steaming 98 degrees. It was pure bliss and my drunken brain was smiling smugly at its genius. Then the empty space in the bottle started reaching alarming levels of smallness. Panic now kicked smugness right I the balls and I watched in powerless terror. The good Lord loves idiots and fools (that’s why there are so many of us) and my bladder held just a few drops less that the capacity of the bottle. I screwed the top back on and returned my focus to staring dully at the gate. Shortly thereafter the anticipated fleet arrived and I was exploded and podded with savage efficiency. The darkness over took me and I shuffled my old ass off to bed.

Bright and early the next morning I was back at my keyboard seeking to soothe my pride, wounded at the hands of a more potent combat force. Of course there is no better way to forget a combat loss than by bathing in the blood of an unarmed miner. I set out in search of some poor toothless prey upon which I could vent my frustration. A few of my buddies joined in and we were having a good time. As we wandered around Catch, I gorged myself a capsuleer’s breakfast of Doritos, some random cheese from the refrigerator, and a jar of olives. It was a great way to start the day, made even better by a cool swig of Gatorade. . . . Holy Hell that’s PISS! There was a cruel evil moment in between relishing the thought of Gatorade and recoiling at the reality of a mouthful of urine, during which I wasn’t sure what I had in my mouth. It is truly horrifying how similar Gatorade is to a drunk’s piss and my brain struggled to process just what to do. Looking back I am sure this inner turmoil took only a fraction of a second but at the time it seemed a neon yellow eternity. Once full realization had set in, I jumped from the keyboard and rushed to the bathroom to spew the contents of my mouth into the toilet. There is not enough toothpaste in existence to scrub clean my soiled oral cavity but I sure as hell tried. My wife would later remark at the curious speed at which we had gone through the toothpaste but I stayed mute on the subject.

To my corp-mates and now to you, I have been more forthcoming, mainly because I don’t plan on kissing any of you and more importantly, because I know some of you will understand. I know this universe we share is full of fellow reprobates and degenerates. Send me your stories so that I may share them with the universe. For those out there who prefer to remain anonymous I will respect your privacy and use a nomme de plume of your choosing.

Your Drinking Buddy,
Rupert Foulmouth



  1. I was just seeking this information for some time. After 6 hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your website. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this type of informative sites in top of the list. Usually the top web sites are full of garbage.

    January 3, 2019 at 07:07 Reply
  2. Very efficiently written article. It will be valuable to anybody who utilizes it, as well as me. Keep doing what you are doing – can’r wait to read more posts.

    January 3, 2019 at 16:11 Reply
  3. Great site. Plenty of helpful information here. I¡¦m sending it to several buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thank you in your sweat!

    January 3, 2019 at 16:45 Reply
  4. It¡¦s actually a great and useful piece of info. I¡¦m glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

    January 3, 2019 at 16:45 Reply
  5. Whats Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & aid different customers like its helped me. Great job.

    January 3, 2019 at 16:49 Reply
  6. Do you mind if I quote a couplefew of your postsarticles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpagesitewebsiteweblogblog? My blog sitewebsiteblog is in the very sameexact same area of interestniche as yours and my visitorsusers would certainlydefinitelygenuinelytrulyreally benefit from a lot of thesome of the information you presentprovide here. Please let me know if this alrightokayok with you. RegardsThanks a lotAppreciate itCheersThank youMany thanksThanks!

    January 5, 2019 at 04:08 Reply
  7. I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I¡¦ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my web site 🙂

    January 11, 2019 at 03:29 Reply
  8. hello there and thank you for your info – I’ve definitely picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this site, as I experienced to reload the web site lots of times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective intriguing content. Ensure that you update this again very soon..

    January 11, 2019 at 03:30 Reply
  9. I wish to express some thanks to this writer for bailing me out of this type of setting. Just after scouting through the world-wide-web and obtaining notions that were not powerful, I was thinking my life was gone. Existing without the strategies to the issues you’ve solved by means of your entire guideline is a crucial case, as well as the ones that might have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I had not discovered your blog. Your know-how and kindness in dealing with every aspect was very useful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t encountered such a point like this. I can also now look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot very much for the reliable and sensible guide. I will not hesitate to propose your site to anybody who needs and wants support on this matter.

    January 11, 2019 at 03:30 Reply
  10. I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thanks , I¡¦ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?

    January 11, 2019 at 03:43 Reply
  11. I got this web ѕite from mү bᥙddy who told me about thіs web paɡe and at
    the moment this time Ӏ am broᴡsing this website and
    reading vеry informative poѕts at thiѕ time.

    January 14, 2019 at 19:25 Reply

Leave a Reply