If “grr goons!” was ever a thing then in The Mitanni’s most recent CEO update “grr Slowcats!” is most definitely a thing. Rarely has a CEO update provided so little in actual content and so much in complaining. The update does however provide two pieces of content for CFC pilots.

Full Deployment to G-0… again!

In The Mitanni’s previous GSF update he proudly proclaimed,

No honor, no fun for the foe, nothing but having their faces smashed in shit over and over and over again until they cry, beg, and plead for forgiveness for what they tried to do to us.

In his recent CEO update he however opted to modify this somewhat and claim that,

In the beginning, we were here for funsies and for revenge, a low-level deployment without too much coordination or effort

What is obvious from this about turn is that the war is not going as intended. In response The Mitanni has decided to pull down the pvp powerhouse alliances of CO2, FCON and GENTS from hitting structures in stealth bombers to the main Curse deployment. The reason for this is that they were effectively repulsed by N3 allies EMP in fairly short order and sent packing. What effect the deployment of these trio of alliances will have on the war remains to be seen, however the likely answer is “not much”.

Train for Dreadnoughts…again!

The previous Mitanni update told people to train for dreadnoughts however this update specified they should be of the vertical variety. All CFC pilots are being told to train towards Naglfar and this new doctrine being named “Omega fleet” essentially a capital alpha fleet. While these may prove somewhat effective at countering the slowcats almost every escalation by CFC so far in the war has lead to N3 “dropping the hammer” and destroying large numbers of dreadnoughts. Since the most recent loss of 70 dreadnoughts CFC have not fielded them versus slowcats.

The rest…

The rest of the update contains, complaining about Slowcats, NC. Being Band of Brothers Mk4 and complaining that the enemy are so smug for sitting in Slowcats and beating CFC at almost every timer. If you have a penchant for self-abuse you may read the full update – in its unpaginated form right here.

It remains to be seen what effect these two changes will have on the current deployment. CFC numbers in their staging system have already seen a large dive since the beginning of the war and this CEO update is largely an attempt to bolster the faultering participation of CFC alliances.


  1. Demosthenez

    Alex (aka the mittani) is a little bitch, an absolute failure at life. He should do the human gene pool a favor and go eat the grill of a speeding Buick.

    December 17, 2013 at 00:04 Reply
    1. Enochia Starr

      Your love for the man shows.

      December 17, 2013 at 00:28 Reply
    2. xxxxx

      Please, you first.

      December 17, 2013 at 20:00 Reply
  2. wizzzzzzzzz

    Yo Mittens … I’ve got a wizard hat with your name on it. lemme ram that thing where the sun don’t shine.

    December 17, 2013 at 10:28 Reply
    1. Gandalf

      Someone seen my hat? I’m sure I’ve put it down somewhere.

      December 17, 2013 at 15:09 Reply
      1. neon

        Was your hat kinda greyish with slightly glossy brown tip?

        December 17, 2013 at 15:36 Reply
  3. Titshit

    another one sided report. good job Foxnews 24
    Just as smug as Test was
    Just as smug as PL was
    Just as smug as NC. was
    Just as smug as Evoke was.

    and all of the above still lost full out wars against the CFC.

    I love you delusional scrublords

    December 17, 2013 at 11:15 Reply
    1. Capstravaganza

      You didn’t need to post all that to let us know how you feel – your username already perfectly describes the contents of your cranial cavity.

      December 17, 2013 at 11:25 Reply
    2. Elite Noob

      Stop listing your so called victories.
      No one cares who you destroyed before – you haven’t destroyed us. And as all chant today “We are still here!! Still shitting on your face!” the only thing I have to say is … BRING MOAR DREDZ!

      December 17, 2013 at 11:29 Reply
      1. Titshit

        Delve. You lost all your shit in delve.

        December 17, 2013 at 14:50 Reply
        1. Elite Noob

          And yet – here we are killing your dudes!

          December 17, 2013 at 15:16 Reply
    3. umad

      Yo … umad braw? GIMME ALL YOUR STUFF.

      December 17, 2013 at 11:49 Reply
    4. Florist going down

      Bob is alive and well is some shit alliance

      December 17, 2013 at 13:00 Reply
    5. The Obvious

      Where in this article is the ‘butthurt’ it’s nothing but laughing at CFC’s propoganda to cover their own arses.

      December 17, 2013 at 14:07 Reply
    6. Curse Resident

      What has CFC done? Nothing but run away. They are only capable of meta gaming not fighting.
      I’ve watched many battles between N3 and CFC where both sides had about the same numbers….. CFC loses EVERY time.
      Unless CFC can get more than 5 to 1 odds, they are useless. Since looking and N3 and PL each 1 of their pilots is = to 6 CFC pilots. CFC is starting to crumble. Pilots are whining about losing all the time. Shitting FC’s running away from fights all the time.
      Then there’s the CFC pilots slitting their wrists from having to sit there for hours on end grinding sov on bombers….. only to watch all that work get undone in 30 minutes by the N3.

      CFC should just give up. EVE will be better off.

      December 19, 2013 at 01:50 Reply
  4. Necromonger

    CFC begins slowly untill they warmed up and shit takes a turn around like all previous wars we had.
    Dont worry PL/N3 this war has just started and you still have a littlebit of time left before you lose all your space.
    There is no stopping these little angry bee’s 🙂

    But damn what a great war it has become <3

    December 17, 2013 at 12:22 Reply
    1. lord of sperg

      Mittens shitposting is just a warmup? I can’t wait ’til he’s boiling. LOL. No lube son … NO LUBE.

      December 17, 2013 at 14:09 Reply
    2. Curse Resident

      Warming up to run away that is……. ROFL.
      Seems that is all the CFC is good at.
      From what I have seen on kill boards. and what I have watching the battles. Yeah CFC does nothing but lose and run away.
      Seems like the only thing CFC is good at is whining, ganking miners and freighters.

      December 19, 2013 at 01:43 Reply
  5. MrSeb

    All i have to say is that Mittens tears should be collected and kept. I have a strong feeling that there will be more.
    The spin of the Mittens is getting repetitive, clearly stating that the CFC is a sore loser. Like i spoilt kid who can not have it all, then throws a tantrum.

    Boo hoo, CFC and their newly aquired RUS pets.

    December 17, 2013 at 14:01 Reply
  6. Herpa Derp


    December 17, 2013 at 15:21 Reply

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