Today at 20:00 EVE server “Battle Of The Blobs” a PvP event between BNI verse RvB, and TEST Alliance went down. Over 3810 ships were destroyed, most of which cruisers. In total the bloodbath cost pilots on both sides of the conflict over 121 billion Isk. A battle report of the event is still being updated.
Shortly after the fight this message was posted to Reddit by Semtex:
Brothers! The stats will be posted, the kill boards updated and many proud Reddit posts with graphs, charts, and photos will be made. This is not one of those posts.
Today was the day which the Great Noob foresaw. Today was the day in which we all remembered to bring ammo and drones. Today was the day when RvB was routed and TEST humiliated! Yes…Today was even more than that.
Today was the first time when Newbies both old and brand new were led in the largest BNI fleet action of all time since the dim and distant days of the Great Hekxodus.
Today the prayers of Newbies went up to the Great Noob as we silently intoned the ‘Psalm of Welping’ which has not been prayed with such fervor since the Great Welp Fleets of the Vestouve Deployment!
Today I saw two FCs get alphaed and a third one step into the chaos. I heard the Logi FC scrambling to preserve his ships as they were attacked by a new fleet. I saw squadrons of Caracals smite our foes and strike fear into their cowardly hearts. I saw our Thoraxes, who were so numerous, blot out the light from their dying sun! I saw Brave Logi selflessly repping ships even though they themselves were being killed! I saw our Fast Tackle pursue and hound our urine scented foes as they tried to flee! I heard voices of some brothers who wanted to run for a gate and cower as our ships began to die……..BUT! One clear (probably bourbon infused) voice said ‘Fuck that! We will fight here and die!”
Today we finally matured as a Collective and brought honor and glory to our Founding Noob Fathers! Brothers, the Great Noob has blessed us with countless enemies fleeing from our wrath in their Pods of Shame! HE has given us fields of salvage beyond the dream of mere Noobs! HE has proven that the vision of the Great Noob; to include NewBros and BitterVets into an unstoppable tide of DPS has finally come to pass!
Brothers, after today’s tremendous victory, I know you can all be proud of our Collective determination and Bravery! In short guys….we didn’t fuck up like the Second BS Roam!!! It was an absolute honor and a supreme kick in the ass to have flown with you Today!
Oh yeah, for all of the NewBros I’ve included the Psalm of Welping as taught to us in Vestouve by Motre when we were tempted to piss ourselves (and our capsules).
From the Book of Noob Armaments Chapter 5 Psalm of Welping
“The FC is my leader: I shall not whine. He maketh me shut my yap on comms. He leadeth me recklessly into nul-sec. He restoreth my ship when I die. He leadeth me into boubon fuelled assaults on TEST.
Yea though I fly into Goon controlled space, I will fear no welping: For my clone is updated My SEBO and launcher, they comfort me. He preparest a field of salvage over our defeated enemies. He annointest my pod with bourbon; my overdrives runneth over!
Surely noobness and stupidity shall follow me all my days in Barleguet, and I will dwell in the House of the Noob forever.”
May the bourbon be with you.