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Tweetfleet: A Translation…

July 10, 2014

Today’s social media highlight comes from Reddit user Nibron, who posted a subtle satire of mitten’s CFC CEO Update, take a read:

One of the annoying side-effects of blueing most people and signing NIPs with the other is that we have to struggle to find content for ourselves. We’ve played the big mean guy for quite some time, and now we find ourselves with only our underling alliances and renters to call friends and have to back into a rather defensive ball whenever discussing anything because we find that no-one really respects us anymore. I don’t think most of our members respect us either. Most of them are just in it for the Guristas bounties.

NCdot has deployed to Delve. Remember Delve? Most of our squads (most of our active pilots) went there for good fights (totally not an invasion) when Test lived there and somehow managed to end up in a war for Fountain which we came close to losing. PASTA have been beating LAWN and our renters up, and they’ve come begging for our help because their tender behind can’t take much more. We’re moving to F20Y in Querious, because we built that station last time we were there and we need to get our monies worth from it. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of space nearby so you can keep ratting and our staging system is a buffer between you and the baddies, so you’ll be safe little one.

(As an aside, some people have been getting butthurt because they get downvoted on r/eve because of their CFC flair. Let’s call it people jumping on the bandwagon, because we’re the biggest, meanest, strongest, big-dicked group in Eve and what we say is obviously better than the shit everyone else says.)

tldr[sic]: This bit is longer than most of the other paragraphs but also makes the most sense. Take the only PVP ships you own to F2OY so we can blob out the sun and fight in consistant 10% TiDi. Scrubs who haven’t ratted enough for a carrier yet will have their hand held as they cross through dozens of blue regions the long way. This is a USTZ only deployment. EUTZ will be elsewhere trying to hold the front in some other region that we don’t own. Remember, bring HAMS because we might actually have to fight something.

If you enjoyed this “version” of the CEO Update, don’t forget to visit the reddit and upvote / give gold to the author.

source: [ Reddit ]