EN24 Network WTZ Forums HackNSmash.com EN24 Facebook EN24 Twitter Community

If you’re an aspiring space scum bag, looking for a few special moves, with not the faintest interest in making any buddies, this ones for you. Particularly if, like me, you only have the one account.

I first started eve only a few months after release. I mined enough isk for a battleship and promptly quit because I no longer had a goal. I tried a lot of other MMOs afterwards but the thing that always annoyed me was that to be great at them you had to spend more time playing than your rivals. If I suggest to my wife that I’m going to need 6 hours straight to collect purples in raids she gets seriously fucked off (if you’ve seen one of those volcanoes erupting into a lightning storm . . . well, you get the picture). There aren’t many mmos where you can hop on for an hour here or there and get someplace simply by being a massive ass hole.

I came back to EVE two and a half years ago, and this time it stuck. I went straight to null (well, Providence, but I still felt like my balls were massive and brassy), I made friends, they showed me how to fit, how to get stuff between high and null sec, how to use intel and make a bit of isk. After 6 months I stole 15bil from them and felt seriously awesome; I’m not particularly welcome in Providence anymore. Since then I’ve helped my self to assets from numerous corporations by putting in far less effort than I did on my first heist. Yesterday I took 200mil in mining barges, from a corp I’d been in for less than a week, and the crazy thing; I’ve only ever used one character to rob everything I own.

I’ve been told I’ll never join another corp again literally dozens of times, but you’ll be surprised how far you can get with a set of carefully constructed lies. So here’s some tips that I’ve learnt, and to the aspiring scum bag they are worth their weight in gold.

1. Everyone is a target.

I’ve not yet found a mark who I can’t make a decent profit off, but there are some important considerations to be made. I play on a single character, I don’t make new characters after each heist, I don’t have any alts besides a guy who has spent his entire life in Jita holding all the shit I steal. There are a limited number of corporations who actually do decent background checks when you put in an application, but you would be truly surprised how few and far between these are . I’ve been in numerous respectable null sec entities all with my scum bag corp thief. One of the things that surprised me most after my first few thefts was just how willing CEOs were to accept my lies about the reasons why I left my previous corp. The easiest is just to say that you only recently started playing and bought the character off the bazaar to get a head start. I had a huge amount of success by straight up telling the mark that the previous CEO is a liar whom I just didn’t get on with. Seriously, that works.

2. Time is money.

If you’re under the impression that you can join a corp and walk away with serious billions in a week you’re mistaken. The amount you can take a corp for is proportional to the time you spend in the corp and the rapport you have with its leadership. You can take 100 mil from 5 corps in a week, or you can take 10bil from a corp every few months. It’s also worth mentioning that the big cons are lot trickier to pull off but are so much more satisfying upon fruition.

3. You can’t buy trust.

You see, that’s just one of those things that people say that simply isn’t true. You can buy trust and it’s quick and relatively cheap. If you’re planning on a big heist, trust is essential, you must have access to the big juicy corp hangars and POSs. If you’ve been in any reasonably decent corp you’ll have undoubtedly received mails about POSs that the corp doesn’t have the liquid isk to refuel; spend 100 mil on fuel blocks for the corp and see how quickly you gain access to that corp hangar and said POS. Buy the corp a few moderately priced BPOs, insist that you have access to their research locations and it invariably happens.

4. Know your skills and know how POS research works.

The holy grail of heists is those lovely BPOs that you’ll be wanting to get your grubby little mitts on. They are the perfect target; small and highly valuable. These BPOs are almost always being used either for construction or research and you’ll need to know where they go if you cancel jobs. If they go to a hangar or POS module you have access to you’re golden, if they go somewhere that you can’t access then you’ll either be robbing a lot less than you hoped or the leadership will be onto you and the whole con is up. If BPOs are your target the I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a thorough understanding of how they get moved around.

If your stealing ships from POSs it should be abundantly obvious that you’ll need the skills to fly them in order to get them away safely, it can take a huge amount of time to be able to fly many of them so ditching a character after a heist might not be economical after you’ve put in all the skill training to fly the ships in the first place.

5. Getting away with the loot (null sec only).

So, if everything’s gone to plan you’ve timed your heist well and made away with a decent pile of swag. If you live in null sec and like me you only have the single account, then extracting the goods can be tricky. If you can get black frog to ship for your area then you’re laughing, if it’s just BPOs there are a range of ships that can get you back to high sec safely. If on the other hand your in the dirty depths of SOV null, with 500 cubic km of stolen product, looking at 25 jumps to low sec and probably 5 gate camps, theres still options.

I don’t like to use the word fire sale because it immediately implies that you’ll be selling off your ill gotten gains for a fraction of their true value, but I’ll call it a fire sale anyway. No matter where you are in null, if you put a post on the eve-o sale forum, stating simply the type of items you have, the volume, and a rough location, and mention you’re willing to compromise on price, you WILL get numerous responses (you’ll want to make the post with one of the other two characters you can have on your single account). Again, this is one of those things that really surprised me when I started screwing people over; I’ve sold stolen shit to members of the same alliance that I’ve just stolen it all from, I’ve sold stolen shit back to people in the same corp as I’ve just stolen it from – this is the ideal scenario, they will want you to keep quiet about the fact that your selling stolen goods back to a member at a discounted value, it means you can blackmail said person once you’ve sold him the contraband. Tell me something more beautiful than that?

So, with that I conclude my first article. Four days ago my wife and I had a baby boy, so my playtime is more restricted than ever. However, I have got a couple of cunning schemes on the go, so if comments are positive (or negative but there’s still at least a little interest) I’ll share my upcoming exploits.

- Rej

  • Dave From SMA

    Meh this sounds like a PL recruitment drive. If you play this way don’t even bother applying for the nobel and rightous CFC.
    SMA will white knight any organisation plagued by these virtual vultures, covo our CEO for protection. SMA protecting the weak and fighting the good fight.

    • Jevous Encule

      I though SMA was still at the “Dawn of the Planet of The Apes” stage.
      If its the case, tell Caesar I say Hi!

      • Chris

        Except these apes haven’t evolved to that level of intelligence yet.

        • Jevous Encule

          I know right! Good thing Goons are there to help them!!

          • Bravefart

            Help or whelp them? Whatever works

          • Bravefart

            Help or whelp them? Whatever works

    • Dirty Rotten Sneaky Bastard

      SMA whiteknight?!? You are trolling right?
      SMA did not whiteknight anything when EX-River kicked my corp out of the alliance in the middle of the night when nobody was online and put out shoot to kill orders throughout the CFC.

      The reason you ask? Because he could not stand the fact that a fifteen man corp was blowing away his 100 man corp (The flagship corp of the alliance [yeah right]) in every single PvP stat. He told us to back off and not try to show him up… We ignored that and kept shooting the enemy as hard as we could. For that we got kicked.

      Ask him, McLovin, or Thor about Redemptions Manifesto sometime, see how he responds.
      As far as SMA whiteknighting anything, look to Ducky and Ducktape LTD for honor, they have the only honor in that alliance.

  • Red Teufel

    Rej sounds like a sociopath that gets hard when he feels dominant over others.

  • Red Teufel

    Rej sounds like a sociopath that gets hard when he feels dominant over others.

    • Rej

      Yeap, three and a half inches of solid bone.

  • Tarsas Phage

    Eve players in general also tend to have a short memory. You did something bad to someone or something bad happened to you? Give it a week or two and pretty much no one will remember it.

  • 3CardMonty

    Sociopath takes advantage of special people in game, yes please write more.

  • 3CardMonty

    Sociopath takes advantage of special people in game, yes please write more.

  • Senex Legio 1

    Quite the ego piece. I am thinking that him talking about it is for him him the same satisfaction as doing it.

    Whatever man, your story bored me.

  • Senex Legio 1

    Quite the ego piece. I am thinking that him talking about it is for him him the same satisfaction as doing it.

    Whatever man, your story bored me.

  • Valorfist

    I am pretty sure one can have 3 chars/ account…

  • Short Bus Syndrome

    Yawn, another story from the short bus.

    No really, tell us how special you are!111!!!

    • Rej

      You know that awesome moment as a child when you actually pulled off Zangief’s spinning pile driver move?

      That special.

  • Your Son

    serious, quit EVE and spend some time with your kid!

    Both of you need to grow up…

  • Anonymous

    So much hate. I think it’s interesting. Scam both a pl and CFC corp and write it up!

  • Anonymous

    So much hate. I think it’s interesting. Scam both a pl and CFC corp and write it up!

    • Rej

      Now we have a ball game. Do the muggles (renters) count or does it have to be the true bloods?

    • http://www.eveonline.com/ hoodaticus

      He should do a public auction to determine which corp he will rip off next.

  • asd2

    wow shitty article, nice job stealing the screenshot from the brave bros.. since this isnt your screenshot i wonder is this really your article?

  • asd2

    wow shitty article, nice job stealing the screenshot from the brave bros.. since this isnt your screenshot i wonder is this really your article?

    • http://www.eveonline.com/ hoodaticus

      mai screenzhots r art libbilirah!

      EDIT: did he infiltrate your corp to steal this screenshot? >:D

    • http://www.eveonline.com/ hoodaticus

      mai screenzhots r art libbilirah!

      EDIT: did he infiltrate your corp to steal this screenshot? >:D

  • GFY

    Started reading, was thinking this guy cusses about as bad as I do, maybe this will be interesting

    Then got to

    “I made friends, they showed me how to fit, how to get stuff between high and null sec, how to use intel and make a bit of isk. After 6 months I stole 15bil from them and felt seriously awesome”

    That kind of killed it. Wow, you screwed poeople over, who gave you trust, so original. Someone give the retard a gold star.

  • GFY

    Started reading, was thinking this guy cusses about as bad as I do, maybe this will be interesting

    Then got to

    “I made friends, they showed me how to fit, how to get stuff between high and null sec, how to use intel and make a bit of isk. After 6 months I stole 15bil from them and felt seriously awesome”

    That kind of killed it. Wow, you screwed poeople over, who gave you trust, so original. Someone give the retard a gold star.

    • Rej

      I might be a morally deprived ass hole, but certainly not a retard. Using the word retard incorrectly though, that’s just ironic.

      • GFY

        Aww, nomad.

      • GFY

        Aww, nomad.

        • Rej

          Your attemp at a retort addles my simple mind :(

          • GFY

            I would have put more effort into it, but I figured I would keep it on par with this article.

          • GFY

            I would have put more effort into it, but I figured I would keep it on par with this article.

          • GFY

            I would have put more effort into it, but I figured I would keep it on par with this article.

          • Rej

            Your solution to something bad is to sink to the same depths?

  • Ciaphas Cyne

    yawn

  • Leicester

    Congrats on your spawn, I’m sure he’ll grow up to be just as big a cunt as you.

    • Rej

      Oh, I see how you’ve become confused there.

      Actually, I’m able to act differently in real life to the way I do IN A COMPUTER GAME. If you’re unable to make the same differentiation please stay away from guns and schools.

      • Leicester

        You behave this way in a computer game because there are no consequences, if the same applied in real life I’m certain you would behave in exactly the same way as you do in EvE.

        Funny how easy it is to see who is a sociopath and who isn’t when you give them a sandbox with no consequences.

        TL:DR You are a cunt, in game, and in real life despite it being hidden behind your public persona.

      • Leicester

        You behave this way in a computer game because there are no consequences, if the same applied in real life I’m certain you would behave in exactly the same way as you do in EvE.

        Funny how easy it is to see who is a sociopath and who isn’t when you give them a sandbox with no consequences.

        TL:DR You are a cunt, in game, and in real life despite it being hidden behind your public persona.

        • Rej

          This I can agree with. Glad we came to an agreement.

        • Rej

          This I can agree with. Glad we came to an agreement.

  • keep going raj

    I can’t imagine a EVE where there are no corp thieves. That one well placed spy that topples a corp/alliance. That is one of the many things that make eve interesting. To read that some idiots gave someone right to billions of assets within weeks is hilarious to me. You guys can argue about how he would be the same in real life if there was no consequences all day. What i gathered from reading this article and how he commented is that he would not be the same if there wasn’t consequences in real life.

    Just imagine….. no one steals in eve, no spies taking down corps/alliances, no scamming, no pirates killing undefended industrialist. What a boring game EvE would be. Keep writing Raj. All the negative comments are probably from dudes who got robbed because they were fools.

    And the old.. good job stealing from people who trusted you is getting over used. We all know that eve is filled with ass holes. When you get robbed its because you were fooled. Don’t trust anyone in eve unless you know them in real life.

  • Mr. Cooge

    This article isn’t really about EVE rather a description of a personal social disorder manifested by the writer which sounds like high functioning autistic a.l.a borderline social disorder at play here.

    Not able to connect in the real world so one will delve a significant amount of his own personal time into this virtual world to fulfill some red headed(or only child) egotistical drive. I’m sure in the real world the writer coalesces with the bottom feeder of society and reminds me of someone I used to steal lunch money from in elementary school or f*uck or his girlfriend in high school.

    One is supposed to separate real life from game life but in this instance its been reversed whereby the writer invest significant amount of his real life time trying to feel accomplished from stealing and scamming

  • Mr. Cooge

    This article isn’t really about EVE rather a description of a personal social disorder manifested by the writer which sounds like high functioning autistic a.l.a borderline social disorder at play here.

    Not able to connect in the real world so one will delve a significant amount of his own personal time into this virtual world to fulfill some red headed(or only child) egotistical drive. I’m sure in the real world the writer coalesces with the bottom feeder of society and reminds me of someone I used to steal lunch money from in elementary school or f*uck or his girlfriend in high school.

    One is supposed to separate real life from game life but in this instance its been reversed whereby the writer invest significant amount of his real life time trying to feel accomplished from stealing and scamming