First thing: this post has nothing to do with high-sec. Sooner or later, I’ll try tackling the whole high-sec war-dec problem but today isn’t that day. Second thing: I’m going to try to make this quick, because if it goes long the topic I am going to cover is going to give me a headache.
We’ve been hearing more and more about the “war games” proposal that’s being put forth by Shadoo from Pandemic Legion as an alternative to a massive sov war between the HBC and the CFC. You can read Shadoo’s post about it at Mitten’s site, and there’s a pretty fair analysis of the piece written by mr0ts at EN24. You can read the pieces yourselves — they are well worth your time — but as is my wont here from time to time, I’m going to give you a summary then tell you what I think about the issue.
The “war games” proposal first came out of the aborted war between TEST and FA that nearly erupted back in January. Much as the invasion of Poland kicked off World War II, the invasion of FA space by TEST likely would have caused the first “Great War” New Eden has seen in years. But as I wrote back in January, Shadoo nearly single-handedly terminated the conflict before it started, talking Montolio off the ledge by reminding him that while blowing up spaceships is fun, wars apparently aren’t. After writing his “The Madness of Montolio” piece, Mittens has been remarkably silent about how “wars start for reasons of rage and hatred”… except when they don’t. His two TTH columns since then have been unrelated fluff, and his April column looks unlikely to cover it, too.
About this, mr0ts is unyielding and sarcastic, stating “the real reasons for the avoidance of war is the thought of losing all they’ve built” and that the “combatants” are going to “blame CCP while [they] conceal the fact everyone is really just fat and happy in null-sec”. And while I’m not sure I would go that far, there’s certainly an argument to be made for that perspective.
In his piece ending the war, Shadoo promised that he would come up with a plan for the HBC and the CFC to have massive battles without having to do sov warfare. And that’s what we now have. Shadoo claims that an HBC-CFC war would stretch out for two years in much the same way the first and second Great Wars did between Goons and Band of Brothers. He then further claims that… let me make sure I quote this accurately…
I think the reality is that we, the OLD players, have now played this game for 10 years and too many people know how to bore an attacker out of invading you, or how to most effectively crush a noob lead assault. The ladder is too high for new blood to accomplish anything…
And if that wasn’t condescending enough, he goes on!
EVE is now so polarized that the only war soon left to be fought would be one most of us would not come out of still playing EVE.
And then just to make sure the point is clear, he says it again!
So what do we do while we wait for people to get SO BORED they’re prepared to end their EVE “life” fighting a war no one wants to start, which will last longer than most reading this post are willing to commit to this game?
Let’s be clear here, kids. The ten year vets have now been playing this game so long that playing this game actively bores them, yet they keep playing it anyway for our sake. They prevented this war so that we wouldn’t have to stop playing EVE. So we should really honor their sacrifice and very great wisdom. Amen.
*cough* Sorry. But if anyone wants to know why “been playing this game since beta” people aggravate me, this arrogant little screed is a lovely example. Hell, one imagines SirMolle saying that very same exact thing about the invasion ladder being too high in 2007 or 2008. Why yes, I am getting that headache. Thanks for asking.
|Welcome to Cloud Ring. What color do you want?|
Anyway, Shadoo has a solution, and his solution is: a thunder-dome. Yeah, that’s pretty much his solution. Oh, he’s not calling it a thunder-dome, of course. Instead, he’s inventing Chinese Checkers for EVE. Or maybe just a really big game of Slay. He visualizes anyone who wants to get involved in his Chinese Checkers game joining corps that will then be attached to corps in Executive Outcomes, the sov owner in the Cloud Ring region. Why Cloud Ring? Because it’s easy for the people involved to get to. That beats Delve, I suppose. Then these three corps will be given three stations (presumably the ones in Z-Y7R7, B-DBYQ, and 00TY-J). And then the three corps will have daily fights of between 50 and 1000 ships to a side.
If that weren’t contrived enough, there will then apparently be judges who will decide who wins any given fight, whether that means a system changes hands because of the fight, and how that system changing hands alters the score of the war game. And this will go on for a couple of weeks until a winner is declared. At which point… I don’t know. Shadoo doesn’t go that far.
I swear I am not making this up. As far as I can tell, this is how this thing is going to work: Red vs Blue, only with rules (“no supers!” “don’t bring too many caps!”), and judges, and a winning side that gets a trillion ISK and maybe ten technetium moons if ten tech moons can be pried out of someone’s colossal moon empire to be handed out as prizes to the “winner” in this enormous game of Chinese Checkers. Again: I swear I am not making this up.
You’ll forgive me for saying so, I hope, but I think any EVE player who goes in for this immediately loses any moral authority they may have once had to make fun of high-sec players or care-bears. This. Is. A. Farce. And what’s more, Shadoo knows it and recognizes it. He says flat out the goal of this thing is apparently to provide CCP with evidence that their sov system is shit and needs to be changed… to include “borders”, whatever the hell that means.
Shadoo, I’ll save you some time, mate: I think CCP got that message right around January of this year if not before. How CCP is going to respond to this farce is anyone’s guess but for my money, I hope they do one of their trademark over-reactions. I think we’re about due for one.
Someone call Ron Perlman and let him know he’s on in five.
EDIT (15/Mar/2013): Oh, and before someone asks, “Well Jester, what’s the alternative?” The alternative is that the people involved here use their well-established bat-phones, they call the other guys and say “We’re forming up a fleet of 200 guys. We’re headed for CCP-US in Deklein. Form up a response fleet! See you in 20!” I’m not sure why that’s too difficult, but apparently it is…
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