riverini’s note: Get ready for one of those “DAFUQ I just read?” stories, I found this one pretty amusing.
Tackled in Belt is a Christian corp, with, “hardworking individuals, that spend their free time playing EVE. We typically mine, mission, and run wormhole sites.” They are an easy going casual corp that lives in a C2 wormhole. “We always accept new members and help them learn the basics of EVE, allowing them to progress and develop their skills. We offer a free ventrilo server so we can chat with each other, and gain meaningful friendships that carry over into our [out of game] lives.”
“…and on the fifth day, the Lord said, ‘Let there be Capitals, and let the capitals be good and meek capitals. Let them come forth from the space-rocks and do no harm.’ And so there were Rorquals [the ones without combat drones in their drone bays]. And He saw that they were good. On the sixth day, God said let there be pilots to fly the great diggers and give them purpose. And there were pilots. And the Lord saw that it was good.”
~ Gospel according to Derek Chu 3:16
Roughly a year ago, they had a corp member, ELBE, join them. “He was a nice individual, helping the corp mine, setting up POS’s, helping us build capitals.” ELBE, thought that they should build a Rorqual inside of their Class 2 wormhole.
“At first we were skeptical because it required a bit of minerals and production, but the ability to compress ore greatly helped our process. We are a small corporation and are glad to make things more efficient. We continued our work for a few months, and then ELBE had stated he need to take a leave from EVE to get his life together. It was fine and we all understod, but we were concerned when he logged off and never logged back on with the Rorqual. We called and texted him, trying to get it back, so we could [continue operations] for the mean time. We became frustrated and eventually gave up.”
Months down the road, around the beginning of March, ELBE texted back and said that he was going to start playing EVE again. TIB gladly accepted him back in, and continued their work, now with the Rorqual again. Since the months ELBE was gone, TIB had decided that they would create a uniform look across the corporation. All members had to purchase a monocle. “An easy, relatively inexpensive thing to do. ELBE refused to do it, claiming it was a waste of isk and looked stupid.” TIB even said that they would help buy it with corp money. They bought him a monocle which he refused to wear.
“He got really moody and stole 23 billion from our alliance wallet. We noticed it and didnt say anything. We told ELBE we were going to be moving into a new POS in the wormhole, for reactions. We fleet warped his Rorqual to a planet and proceeded to shoot it. He got really mad and told us that he wanted to leave corp and do his own thing. We continued shooting his Rorqual…” At this point those of you that find yourselves a little breathless may want to get up and walk away. What happened next could only be described (in somewhat polite terms) as extraordinary. With only three rookie ships without point attacking and bump tackling his capital industrial ship:
ELBE has initiated self-destruct of their Rorqual, it will explode in 120 seconds.
The rest, as they say, is history.
eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=16655622
“But the Lord God saw that pilots were misusing their great Rorquals. They did not log into EVE when beckoned. They did not wear their monocles on the sabbath day. And God saw that it was not good. And so He decreed the mighty fleetwarp and it did strike fear into the hearts of those that laid their eyes upon it. And God’s legions [er... rookie ships] laid fire upon the great Rorqual.”
Gospel of EVE 1:7
ELBE went back to highsec, blocked TIB, and refused to return the isk.
“I guess the moral of the story is, please wear a monocle when you’re requested.”
Video
- Princess Saskia
Religion and video games should never mix…
But Darksiders!
1 sad loser git….lost 1 corp rorqual in a humiliating lossmail, no monocle, but 23b richer…..
you sure got him.
if this isn't a troll article….which I doubt lol.
This has to be a troll on TIB
tackled is a shadow cartel alt corp tweety bird can be seen flying with them most days lol en24 get trolled again
no tackled in belt is that queery tweety's corporation he's butthurt from being kicked from sniggwaffe, he sucks at eve and should kill himself irl, he is such a vergen
His recharge alone would have kept him alive, although C2s tend not to pop out big enough for a rorq to exit, so was going to be stuck in there forever anyways.
BORED. Who approved this bullshit pedestrian corp theft story?
This story is a complete flop, and has more holes than moldy swiss cheese. EN24 is dying, this story confirms it.
Tell you what, you kill a Rorqual with noob ships and then post an article about it on here and I promise I'll read it. And then shit all over the comments section.
But it wasn't killed. It self destructed. Whoring on a SD KM with noob ships =/= killing with noob ships.
BREAKING NEWS: If you force someone to self-destruct, you fucking won!
If anything signals death, its more of Greedy Goblins articles.
You are a fag. Go troll shittani.com or whatever that shitty site is called.
And you, Jesus, don't exist. At best you are delusion of some mentally disturbed people, at worst just another scam to control population.
Isn't Jesus just a puppet for the priests to meet new boys?
You are WRONG
Our God and Savior or you are wrong!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QyYaPWasos
Yeah, this was fucking stupid.
Elbe now wears his monocle lol
I stopped reading at "shadow cartel" but unfortunately that was too far down the article
BLOBBED
TWEETY BIRD IS A FAGGOT NIGGER
what piece of phlegm were you raised from?
DAFUQ I just read?
As the great captain jean luc once gestured. What the fuck is this shit?
Strange way to put a twist on a 23 billion heist from the alliance.
Now he not only got that isk but also the insurance money from the rorqual.
Uhh, where do I begin with wormhole-built rorquals and insurances…
When you can't dock, you ensure with your corpmates Jesus platinum insurance.
Lol it's a C2 your not exiting it to dock to station
He wasn't going to keep it anyway, mate.
I can't believe you guys forgot to mention ELBE's complete failure to accept the Yeti as his personal savior as one of the other major factors in his death!
"Praise be to the Yeti, for he is the one, the true, the all mighty."
- The book of Yeti YE:26
#yolo
GTFO!
الحمد اليتي، لأنه هو واحد، وصحيح أن كل الأقوياء
what in the blue hell is that?
Google translate says "Praise the Yeti, because it is one, and it is true that all the powerful"
Which is eben more confusing.
Also to the previous poster "nignignignig" , no need for the racism , shithead.
If only you knew. Praise the Yeti, for he is the one that shall deliver you from evil.
The Yeti is my divine light
The power of Cjrist compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
SandNigger
كارهي ستعمل الكراهية
And this is how the great war started between Test and CFC!
now that is elite pvp
ha! im not sure whats funnier. How to deal with someone who stole 23 bil or the fact he had access to wallet/s after months hiatus
I had to re read the thing twice to make sure I didnt read it wrong. He logged off with their capital ship for ages, ignored pleas to come back on and give it back, yet when he does come back he still had access to the corp wallet. Jeez… How do I get in that corp? I need 23b!
Fuck god you cunts
i.imgur.com/Yiztzvu.jpg
On the plus side, nice views of a pulsar in the video
Yeaaahhh I bet ELBE is really kicking himself after self destructing 2.7b worth of ship…. oh wait, that's right, he still has 23b of your cash to go and buy 8 more. Epic fail Jesus, epil fail.
The whole article is a troll.
I actually found this article entertaining. Yeah, yeah, Elbe won in the end in the fact he got away profiting 20B, but it's a light-hearted article and Rorqual KMs with noobships are priceless. Much better than reading anything posted by Goblin.
“He got really moody and stole 23 billion from our alliance wallet. We noticed it and didnt say anything."
What..I don't even… cdn.crushable.com/files/2012/11/mal-what.g…
Gone for months. Access to alliance wallet.
What the hell.
Best Alliance name. Ever.
The guy is still in that corp? as in, they didnt kick him or sth?
Long story short – you built the guy a rorqual, guy quits eve for a bit, comes back and steals 23B from the alliance wallet, you fleet warp him to a planet or whatever and put a slight dent in his shield, guy knows he can't do anything about it since he was getting bumped and was aggro timered so since he was quitting the corp and couldn't get the rorqual out self destructed it instead of giving it back to the corp, and you're victorious how?
Successful troll is successful.
he even got basic insurance too… paid for a new clone my guess. plus he now has 23bil to restart
The best part about this story is that it was ll made up to create a troll. ELBE is Tweetybird. A waffle reject, alongside his loser friend Jeronica (also waffle reject). Nothing was stolen, and the roq was prolly found in a wh offline pos and they wanted to kill it with rookie ships for the lulz. TIB is nothing but rejects. nobodys, trying to create something out of nothing. You guys are still worthless. wolololololololool
you mad neckbeard?