GoonSwarm Federation head honcho and apparent Josef Stalin admirer throws out an awe-inspiring CEO Update aimed towards his brethren.
[spoiler show="Show Attached pix"]
We have a war and an election to win.[/spoiler]
CEO Update: Grind Them Down
Trench warfare doesn’t make for flashy news. We have been at war with Raiden, Init and Ev0ke for more than a month, and besides the odd bleating article on EN24 from a fat incompetent, all we have to show for our efforts are… an almost entirely secured and jammed Branch, most of our ‘lost’ techs back, and a shitload of dead Raidendot Tengus.
That said, it has been a dodgy month. Purging White Noise was a classic ‘strong force, weak enemy’ situation – a SOTG followed by a showpiece invasion and subsequent collapse of resistance. By the time Raidendot began attacking our moons in earnest, we had burned ourselves out on uncontested WN structure shots. Our FCs grew sloppy, our fleet composition was trashy, our logisticians frayed to the breaking point from the inhuman pace of conquest – each new system requiring freighter ops for IHubs, plus countless new towers, sometimes eight in a night. Meanwhile, our allies underwent a similar logistical whiplash, many of them relocating to a new region or radically revising their territorial footprints while under fire. The initial engagements against Raidendot did not go well: towers were mistimed and lost, easy fights in the 23:00 zone were welped. We shed somewhere between 10 and 12 of our new Branch Techs across the coalition.
Yet we have spent since mid-2006 on the back foot against BoB, BoB respawns, ex-BoB and BoB spinoffs. We did what we always have done: stalled for time, died in droves, then slowly got our shit together. The foe stuck repeatedly at our smaller allies such as SMA, expecting us to abandon them – as BoB had always abandoned their friends – but we did not. Our loss rate of towers slowed, then stopped. Our logisticians began to recover and come off suicide watch; some were even allowed to use carefully dulled plastic utensils without supervision. Sov3 began to tick over across Branch, jammers onlined, and hostile activity has begun to dry up.
Meanwhile, we have shaken up our fleets, changing doctrines to be more effective in a classic Goonswarm war of attrition. Perma-MWD Drakes allow us to throw wave after wave of bodies into a fight with impunity and nary a glance at the reimbursement wallet. TEST has finished up their Geminate campaign and come to VFK. Our capital directorate had a turnover, capital participation is seeing a renaissance (what, you mean we can log in every night???) and we have retaken almost all of the tech which we lost in Branch.
Last week, we formed up a massive force and flung it headlong into the assembled blob of anti-blobbing hypocrites. We were outnumbered and outgunned; we died by the hundreds, as did Raiden/Ncdot/Init/Ev0ke/PL etc, who won the fight after a 4.5 hour slugfest. The next day, five hostile techs came out of reinforced, and we expected that after all the foreplay we’d have another meatgrinder. Yet Raidendot wasn’t interested. They ceded their techs to us, exhausted, regardless of their prior victory. Paradoxically, our own participation had soared in the face of the loss.
With Branch secure, our enemies expected a SOTG and an invasion of Tenal this weekend. But this will not be happening. Our foes are strong and their numbers nearly match ours; giving them an opportunity to rally against us in a major engagement is foolhardy. Instead, we will offer them only grinding attrition. Relentless siegework, SBU-spamming, and Drakes, Drakes, Drakes.
The CSM election season is here, and Jita Park is full of hand-wringing publords unironically pontificating about space ethics and the sacred ideals of democracy. There’s a lot more interest in the CSM this year because CSM6 was the first Not Completely Horrible CSM, due in large part to Team Nullsec getting its shit together last March.
I’m the only GSF candidate this time; Vile Rat is sick of Iceland. We’re going to need a metric fuckload of votes to secure the Chairmanship and – ideally – an indisputable mandate. I’d like to see us be able to c&p a ridiculous vote total as a one-line reply to every shitbird eve-o poster whining about us for the next year.
We’re not going to fuck with this election cycle by vilifying a particular candidate like we did last year with Trebor; feel free to shit up Jita Park freely and spread it around evenly. Most of the CSM6 vets besides Darius 3 are solid people we and CCP can work with; a lot of the newcomers aiming for a CSM7 seat are borderline retarded.
We’re going to be paying out isk to artists for ~excellent~ campaign posters; each solid poster will net the artist 500m. This does not mean you can poop on a page and get money, we’re talking Stalhregen-level propaganda. If you have something good, post it in this thread.
Crias Taylor was promoted to the Logistics directorate because the poor sap was doing good work during the Branch campaign. Digi has been hired to be creepy for us in an official capacity and assist Vio Geraci in fucking you. Bring Stabity has stepped down from capswarm due to RL commitments, with Mynas, Raidek, Innominate and Frabba being the remaining caps team.
Wait, We Have Capitals?
Due to the directorate reshuffle, we’re seeing a surge in capital ops and participation led by Mynas and Raidek, who never seem to sleep and seem to have an inexhaustible desire to shoot structures and/or drop on things. If you’re an unsubbed dread/carrier/super/titan, you might want to check in; we’re doing stuff almost every night, in an ever-larger blob. This absolutely won’t end in tears!
Isboxer and You
While you’re shooting structures in an ever-expanding dread blob, under the tutelage cap-obsessed maniacs who may or may not be Scottish, you might want to check out Isboxer. It lets you do crazy shit like this, and allows you to run 4+ dreads simultaneously on a single box without clogging your monitors. Unlike Synergy, Isboxer actually allows proper cross-client mouse broadcasting that works accurately even across EVE’s tiny command interfaces. This is useful even at the smaller level of 2-3 clients and managing scouts.
I have no idea what this is, it involves both whizgigs and beepboops. Pmchem and GARPA are very proud of it though so I smiled and promised the nice men that I would advertise Goonmetrics here. If you make isk through means that don’t involve selling supercaps made of vapor to random pubbies, you should probably use Goonmetrics!
Strategic Supercap Scamming
You should get back to selling pubbies supercaps that don’t exist, or buying supercaps from pubbies with isk that doesn’t exist. We’re up a Nyx and a Wyvern just this week due to one intrepid hero in NED-clan, and supercap scamming is transforming from a silly way to make ludicrous amounts of cash into an actual strategic method of increasing our supercap fleet. Every one of these fucking abominations we take out of the hands of a pubbie is one we won’t see trying to headshot us in VFK.
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Remember to +1 riverini’s CSM Candidacy post at the official EN24 thread.
[spoiler show="Did we mess up?"]
We want to give you guys the best possible intel, to post as fast as we can confirm it, but Eve being :Eve: is quite confusing. If we messed up with our intel, please contact us directly [email protected], provide the proof of it and we’ll correct it immediately noting the change and bringing the correction on top of the article list.[/spoiler]
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